Love & Sex
By: Nurse Goodbody

Stumped on what to write for a column in my vacation month of August my nephew TJ came in handy by telling me he’d help me out and write the column for me. His subject? Men just can’t help telling white lies!

When you're in a relationship, lying can sometimes seem necessary; what's the harm of a few white lies now and then? The fact is, you can try to justify your little lies by convincing yourself that you're simply optimizing your truth management skills, but at the end of the day, you know deep down inside that you've been keeping the truth neatly tucked away. Listed below are 5 classic white lies that men love to tell their women. Any of them sound familiar?

5. “No, you don't look fat” - The following situation is familiar to most guys in

relationships: You and your girlfriend are preparing for a night out; and, as you wait for her to finish up, she comes out of the bedroom and asks, “Do I look fat in this?” The best answer most men have come up with is, “No, of course you don't look fat,” followed by “you're beautiful” or other flattering comments. Other than ignoring your girlfriend's question, this is the only way to come out of the situation unscathed; any other answers will be twisted into something you don't mean -- in which case door slamming will likely ensue.

4. “I don't enjoy going to strip joints” - Strip joints, like pornographic movies, appeal to our most primal instincts of sex, which few men (if any) can ignore. It's simply a shame that our girlfriends can't accept that we like seeing beautiful women dancing naked on stage.

3. “We'll talk about it later” - This little phrase helps most of us end an argument or potential squabble. In most cases, we really don't want to “talk about it later”; we never want to talk about it. Putting off the possibility of a blowup gives us some time to convince her of the uselessness of arguing over something so minute.

2. “You remind me of Jennifer Lopez” - The ultimate compliment to a woman can also be your biggest lie. Comparing her to an incredibly beautiful movie star may raise her self-confidence, but you have to ask yourself: Is she really that hot? Congrats to you if she is, but most of us aren't so lucky. Our women are beautiful, but stretching the truth may actually do more harm than good in certain cases. It's all about timing -- don't lay it on too thick and you'll be getting breakfast in bed in no time.

1. “I love your cooking” - Since some women can't make toast without a recipe book, there has to be an “out” for guys who get stuck with the culinarily challenged. Your best bet is to grin and bear it. Hey, at least she's cooking for you. That said, however, if you find yourself ingesting antacids by the truckload, perhaps you should start offering to help out with dinner. Otherwise, you may end up having to eat blackened food for years to come.

Of course the “granddaddy of all whoppers would be to simply tell your gal pal you never lie! And there you have it; some of the most popular lies we have up our sleeves in times of trouble. Of course, lying is wrong and you should never do it unless it's necessary. Honest.