The girls and I needed something French for dinner so where else but the delicious A La Folie Café Francaise located at 519 Espanola Way (your host Dylan is one of the more delectable items but unfortunately is not on the menu) when we started to ask, “How can you know for sure if your partner is cheating on you, other than catching him in the act?”

It's not easy to catch a cheater. If your partner is working hard to hide something from you, it will be difficult to find out for sure exactly what is going on. Before I give you some pointers on doing some detective work, remember that just because you suspect your partner doesn't automatically mean he is being unfaithful. Some people struggle with issues of self-esteem or trust, which leads them to doubt their partners and become paranoid about being cheated on or left behind -- regardless of the circumstances.

That said, there are signs that can warn you that your partner is, in fact, being unfaithful. If he is suddenly working late hours or, out of the blue, has to "take clients to dinner" three times a week, check to see if he is where he's supposed to be. If your partner says he's going to be out for more than a couple of hours, make sure you have a way to reach him. If he doesn't want to give you a number, be suspicious.

Be equally suspicious if your guy goes away for a trip and refuses to give you a hotel name, or only wants to be called on his cell phone. If he says you're being too nosy for requesting this information, ask him: “What if there was an emergency and you needed to reach him? And why wouldn't he want to tell you where he's at?” It's normal for partners to know about each other's whereabouts.

Also, check out your man's attitude. Is he more defensive and angry than usual? Most men feel guilty for cheating, so their impulse is to find fault with their partner so they can justify their own bad behavior. If he's barking at you, looking exasperated, or storming out of the house over nothing, I'd be concerned. (Extreme behavior in the opposite direction is also suspicious, by the way. For example, if he never bought you jewelry or flowers and all of a sudden, he's acting like a gift-giving Romeo, I'd worry that he may be acting out of guilt.)

I urge you to also look for signs of new vanity. Is your guy suddenly a slave to the gym or wearing Italian suits? Have you been after him to dress nicely for years and now he's doing it on his own? If he never was a peacock before, but now he's strutting his stuff, there's a good chance that a new love is motivating him to improve his looks.

You should also check out the women around your partner. Does he have a close friendship with an attractive woman at the office, or in the neighborhood? Most people don't fall into affairs far from home -- if you sense proprietary behavior on the part of a woman in his professional world, or among your group of friends, trust your gut. One last thing: Remember that while you can probably find out if your partner is cheating, you may not want to know the truth. Investigating may make you feel like a paranoid fool (if you turn out to be wrong) or a jealousy-crazed detective (if you are right). And when your partner finds out how much snooping you are doing, he will probably be furious. You need to ask yourself: Am I ready to break up if it comes to that? Only you know what's right for you. Good luck!