When Sexy Goes Too Far. . .

Bright red lipstick. Teetering high heels. A tight black dress. For many women, all of these items make up their tried and true definition of sexy. It’s true, there’s nothing like a flash of leg and “look-at-me” lips to capture attention, but there’s a point where looking sexy crosses the line into easy. Whenever you feel uncomfortable in a revealing outfit or when your hot miniskirt draws the wrong kind of stares, your version of sexy has possibly gone too far.

So how to you avoid crossing the line between sexy and trashy? Although our society promotes sexiness as a showy, superficial concept that often involves lots of skin, makeup and clingy clothes, it’s actually a more subtle quality. Oozing sex appeal never has to mean appearing sleazy if you keep in mind the real attributes of sexiness:

Self confidence. Time after time, men and women both list self-confidence as the number one factor in determining sexiness. So it’s really not so much about what you wear or how you look, it’s about how you carry it off.

A sense of humor. This is another quality that always graces the top of the list for both sexes. A sense of humor shows that you have the ability to inspire fun. A fabulous bod is great, but who doesn’t want to have fun?

Intelligence and wit. Nothing spells sexy like a machete-sharp intellect. It’s true that the sexiest part of the body is the mind, and a well-muscled one can outshine the hardest bodies. “Women always think that men only look at boobs and legs, but it’s the intelligence that holds you,” says Lee, a twenty-something architect. “There’s nothing sexy about a woman who can’t hold a
conversation or follow your point.” Willis agrees in his own way, “I can’t stand no stupid ‘ho.’”

A great smile. Maybe you think it’s your super shiny bling, but it could just be your brilliant smile that keeps attracting admirers. An easy smile reflects confidence and approachability, which in turn translates to sex appeal. Think about it: Hollywood’s most beautiful, glamorous women—Halle Berry, Janet Jackson, Penelope Cruz—are as noted for their smiles as anything else.

Be Natural. Trying too hard and forcing sexiness is not sexy at all. Going overboard and piling on the come-hither stares, pouty lips and provocative clothes can be about as alluring as a neon orange thong. Remember, subtlety beats out obvious every time. “Lots of leg and cleavage are fun to look at, but there’s nothing as sexy as a woman in a man’s shirt, with just a hint of her shape showing,” says Gary, a 28-year-old retail manager. “It’s all about what you don’t show, and it’s of what you get just a peek that’s sexy.”